"I Forgot" -vs- " I Chose Not To"

Accepting responsibility for our behavior is not always easy.  Making excuses when someone brings something out our attention that we did wrong is easy.

I have finally achieved success in trying to teach my 7-Year-Old Daughter the critical difference between accepting ownership when we do something wrong or even in a less-than-ideal manner.

She used to say "I Forgot" automatically and passionately whenever I would have to discipline her for not doing something properly.  This to me implied that she was not accepting responsibility for her actions and not making a mental note to improve or avoid making the same mistake going forward.  Which is exactly what kept happening, consistently, and to my dismay and frustration.

After Months of my pleading and educating her on the critically important difference between saying in a flippant manner "I Forgot" and, as a healthier and more beneficial manner, saying "I Chose Not To," she finally understands the difference.  She know properly responds "I Chose Not To."

The former ("I Forgot" to clean my room; to bring the dishes to the Kitchen; to put my toys away; etc.) conveys a quick excuse with no responsibility assumed or commitment made to improving in the future.

The ladder ("I Chose Not To") conveys her realization that she needs to accept complete ownership of her actions and that she has the ability to focus on certain matters as needed to improve and avoid making the same mistake twice.

Life Lesson For Us All: Always accept responsibility for our actions and the outcomes we achieve.  Excused get us nowhere and actually hurt us be not allowing us to improve, consistently, and as needed to work toward the goal of being the best we can be in life.

Making mistakes is human; not accepting responsibility and making recurring mistakes is unnecessary, hurts us in life and our pursuit of career goals, and is a detriment to our Growth and Personal Improvement.

Never Give Up

Never Give Up

April 16th, 2012

Not When the Goal and Mission is still important to you.

Not When you know that - deep inside your heart and soul where nobody can see - that once you cross that finish line (despite all odds, despite the nay-sayers, despite your personal challenges, despite your known and acknowledged weaknesses, despite the cynics who freely shared their opinion that you could not do it, despite the fact that so many who have gone before you have failed, despite the fact that you were slowed down and nearly stopped numerous times by unanticipated difficult obstacles that arose and tried to prevent your progressing) you will feel exhilarated, proud, renewed, accomplished, and stronger because you Achieved Your Stated Goal!

Giving Up is Easy.

Staying On Task is Hard.

Throwing in the Towel might be what most people have done and would do in your situation and considering what you are facing.......

     But, the question is, what are you going to do?

Revisit Your Original Thought Process when you made the personal decision to pursue this particular Goal. 

Is the reasoning still sound?  Do the factors that prompted you in the first place still exist?  Do you remember all of the benefits that you anticipated when you first embarked on this path to be achieved when you successfully achieved the Goal?  Consider the Costs and Sacrifices; did you anticipate correctly?  Do the forecasted Benefits still outweigh the forecasted Costs and Sacrifices? 

 

The Greater the Benefits to be Achieved the Greater the Sacrifice and Cost Required!

 

The harder you have to work to get there the greater the feeling of achievement once your Goal is Achieved!

 

A Renewed Commitment will be required numerous times on the way.

 

Consider.....

 

How Close are you?

How Much have you sacrificed?

How Much have you learned along the way?

How Much more will you learn if you persevere?

 

How Badly do you want it?

 

How do you think you Will Feel when you overcome all obstacles in your path to Achieve Your Goal?

How do you think your Family, your Friends, and all others you care about Will Feel when you overcome all obstacles in your path to Achieve Your Goal?

 

After honestly pondering these considerations......how do you feel and what are you thinking?

 

You know what you have to do.  You know where you want to go.  You know that deep inside you have the emotional reserves, the energy, the commitment, the drive, the desire; you know you have

what it takes.

 

Life is Short; Time is Flying By and Finite; You Have Set A Very Important and High-Priority Personal Goal that has not yet been achieved.

 

Now what are you going to do next? 

 

Never Give Up...Persevere & Recommit

Never Give Up...Be Creative and Find a Way

Never Give Up...Reach Out Openly To Trusted Mentors For Help

Never Give Up...Improve Your Planning & Execution

Never Give Up...Work Harder; and Work Smarter - Strive For Efficiency

Never Give Up...and Focus More On Helping Others Achieve Success & Happiness - doing so will result in greater and increasing success for you; we have to give more to get more!

 

See You At The Finish Line.

 



Curiosity & Age

Are we, once we slip out of Childhood, supposed to stop being curious? 

My Four-Year-Old, who will stealthily transition to becoming a Five-Year-Old in less than an month, is increasingly curious about all things.  Nothing and no question is out of bounds.  His creativity and imagination are sources of priceless questions: some I can easily answer; some I cannot answer; but all of them are welcome.

I tell my Son: keep the questions coming Buddy; this is how we learn.  If you keep asking questions, whenever curiosity kicks in and you want to learn more about any subject, concept, process, etc., before you know it you will have great knowledge. 

Then, I think to myself, if he, any child, or even us, would not hesitate to ask questions, or conduct immediate research and inquiry to close any knowledge gap that comes to our attention, we would in no time have great knowledge.  If we would all continue this worthy goal and process throughout our lives we would never stop learning.  We would never get bored.  We would continue to grow - and I think that's what life is all about - throughout our lives.  Middle-Age is not an excuse to stop asking questions and learning; and retirement is not an excuse to stop asking questions and learning.

My Father is 84-Years-Old.  He espouses this philosophy.  He always has numerous books at his bedside for periodic reading on diverse subjects such as Calculus, History, Philosophy, etc.  Last year he mentioned to me the possibility of and his desire to get a Part-Time Job.  Age is no excuse.  In fact, my Father conveys that all of his friends who retired extremely young and who both did not work, volunteer, or have a passionate hobby to sink their teeth into, all died young.  The mind when not challenged and stretched will give in to atrophy; then rapid aging; towards a slow death.  The mind when kept curious, seeking knowledge, challenged by new ideas and concepts, continues to grow and stays sharp.

Recently my Son has out of nowhere offered the following inquiries:

• Who created God?
• What are trees made of?
• How does the lightening cause the power to go out?
• What does an engine do?  How does it do it?

I always tell my Son keep asking questions; if I don't know the answer (quite common!!) we will research together to find us the answer.

The Joys of Parenthood.

Curiosity is a good thing.  I hope my Son is still seeking answers to great questions when he turns 100.

Mental Game

I am in the Doctor's Office. Awaiting my turn. Patiently. Thinking. Planning. Questioning myself. Doubting myself. Am I on the right path? Does Success or Failure await down the road?

I am thinking........

How do I achieve success despite my known flaws?

Can I focus my Business Plan and efforts solely on doing what I love to do and am passionate about and be able to earn a sufficient income?

What do I need to start doing differently?

What do I need to stop doing to increase the likelihood of ultimate success?

As I ponder these questions I think to myself: I am not alone in my quest to find answers to these questions.

All over Syracuse, New York State, the United States, and all other Countries that share this Planet with us, people are pondering the same. Searching for the answers that will help them succeed.

Everyone has doubts that lurk in our minds and try to sabotage our dreams and most lofty goals.

I don't know the answers.

My search will continue.

I cannot do it all alone.

I will reach out to those who are able and willing to help, support, and guide.

A Team of Supporters. Positive. Experienced. Generous with their knowledge and insights.

That is what I need.

That is what we need.

Achieving Goals takes great effort. Great perseverance; and a willingness to reach out for help when needed.

Still waiting for the Doctor.

Time proceeds as always one measured minute at a time.

Into the Future we go.............

Roadblocks To Success and How We React

Difficult Decisions & Personal Goals

Whenever we make the highly personal decision, after great consideration, to pursue a new particular Career Path or a new exciting Personal Goal, we will shortly thereafter come up against, face-to-face, and inevitably, various Roadblocks To Success that will define us when we look back many years from now.

How successful we are overcoming these roadblocks along each journey we embark on will either make us; or break us.  Bring us closer to success and to achieving our personal goals; or set us back, slowing us down, giving us reason to pause, and instilling the powerful and nagging seed of doubt into our minds.  We have to tend to these seeds before they firmly take hold; we have to take positive steps so that they never have the opportunity to grow and kill our dreams.  We have to replace them with focused action that will move us forward.  One step at a time.

What To Do?

When our New Journey began we were enthusiastic; energized; optimistic.   Nothing could stop us.  Nothing would stand in our way.

Then, without proper notice or warning, a Roadblock arose out on nowhere which now stands as a challenge to be dealt with and between us and our Goals and Dreams:

• A sudden personal illness
• Suddenly, a family member or close friend is struck with a sudden serious illness that weighs heavily on you
• You are layed off from your job
• You incur a sudden and significant personal expense which throws a wrench into all of the careful planning, forecasting, and budgeting that you worked on so diligently in your planning phase
• You have a very bad experience which has badly weakened your confidence and is causing you to doubt your ability to continue on toward your goals
This list could go on and on.  The examples of potential roadblocks and challenges that we can all encounter along the way are endless.
The Question is: How Will We React and What Will We Do?
Our mettle will be tested.  Our resolve will be measured.  Our commitment, or lack thereof, will be thrust to the forefront and will be the critical factor that will impact our ultimate success or failure more than any other.

Several all-important questions will have to be pondered and then need to be answered on a deeply personal level:

1. How badly do we want it?
2. How much passion do we have to give us sufficient strength to overcome each roadblock we discuss that will stand, firmly, between us and our Goals?
3. Why are we doing what we are doing?  What were the original factors that resulted in our personal decision to pursue this particular path or goal?
4. How will our lives ultimately change for the better if the goal or objective we have set is successfully achieved in the future?  What benefits can we predict?  Will the quality of our lives improve?  Will we be happier?  Will the quality of our loved ones improve?  Will they be happier?
5. Finally: Which is stronger and a more formidable force: us or the Roadblock that stands before us?  Which has more resolve to win? 

Success

There is a reason many people make personal decisions to not pursue their goals and dreams!

They know that achieving their Goals and Great Success would not be easy.  Would not be without sacrifice.  Hard work.  Commitment.  Stress.  And....Roadblocks.  Numerous; and inevitable.

We have chosen an alternate path.  The only path that could possibly result in our achieving success and in reaching the personal goals we have set: we chose to commence pursuit of our goals and dreams.  We chose to take a chance.  A risk.  To not be complecent. 

Now.....wherever we all are along our personal journeys, we need to stand firm; persevere; and do whatever it takes to stay on mission and moving forward. 

We have to muster up every bit of energy and creativity, utilize all of our life experience, and surround ourselves with a Team of Positive Supporters.  We have to learn from those who have gone before us.  Those who have, before they reached their Goals and Great Success, come face-to-face with their own personal Roadblocks to Success.  They choose to not back down.  They found a way.  They made it. 

So can we.....one positive step and interaction at a time. 

Success Awaits. 

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

Organization Frustration / Achilles' heel / Ultimate Success

Imperfection

We all have, if we are honest with ourselves, certain areas of our lives in which we can achieve improvement.  Where we need to improve if we are to succeed.  Where we are vulnerable.  Areas where we have received criticism, constructive and otherwise, from others throughout our lives.

Our individual "Achilles' heel."

An Achilles' heel is defined by Wikipedia as:

An Achilles’ heel is a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, metaphorical references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to downfall are common.
-Wikipedia

Being Honest With Ourselves

We all have one.  It's existence is well-known; we have always battled it's existence and tried to either ignore or tried to as I would suggest take and address head-on.  A fierce and never-ending life-long battle between our natural and inescapable tendencies and our ideal self which we are trying to create.

Keep This Reality of Life In Mind though:

If life was easy and we did not have any great challenges and personal obstacles (our personal life-long "Achilles' heel") to overcome then achieving success and ultimately reaching our personal goals would not be so deeply rewarding and satisfying!

What is your Achilles' heel?

• Poor Organizational Skills which sometimes hamper you and prevent you from achieving success?
• An uncontrollable temper and fiery emotions which you cannot contain and often end up hurting you and your efforts to succeed in some way?
• Deep-rooted insecurity and a lack of confidence which hold you back and keep you in your place?
• A lack of natural people-skills and positive communication skills which sometimes destroys your efforts to go after and implement your Vision and go after your Goals?

This list could be endless.  I could go on and on. 

Or do you not have one due to the fact you have achieved perfection?  A perfect state of being?

Likely this is not the case.  Unless you are delusional and not willing to acknowledge reality, your faults, and the areas where you can benefit from improving. 

Organization Frustration

My Achilles' heel, as you may have guessed, is a lack of natural Organizational Skills.

To achieve success, and increasing levels of success as I desire, I need to get this fact right out in the open.  Recognition is the first step as they say.  Denial gets us absolutely no where and, over time, keeps us firmly planted where we began.  Held back.  Weighed down.  Kept from reaching any exciting personal and professional goals which we have set for ourselves and dreamed of.

I have resolved, out of necessity and recognition of the fact that my doing so is critical and vital to my future success, to consistently investing time, money, and energy into improving my Organizational Skills. 

I have to take time, to set aside time, every day, to Organize.  To Plan.  To Prioritize.  To Strategize.  As the saying goes - nobody plans to fail; they fail to plan.

I need to Organize.  Plan.  Prioritize.  Strategize.  Every Single Day. 

I recognize this need for improvement and am confident that I will achieve success.  I will have fun in the Process and reach out to others for advice, expertise, and support.  I will research the subject and read and educate myself consistently on the subject of how to improve organizational skills.  I will not give up.  Whether or not I achieve ultimate success hangs in the balance!

Ultimate Success

How sad it truly is when someone reaches a point in there lives where they accept the status quo.  Where they no longer recognize the need for improvement.  Where they no longer take steps to improve themselves.  To openly, aggressively, and tenaciously take on their own personal Achilles' heel whatever that may be.

We are all blessed with both strengths and we all, without exception, have weaknesses.

The line between the highly successfully and those who fail to achieve great success and to achieve their personal goals and objectives is drawn and distinguished by either their failure or their success to take on in an honest fashion and overcome, or at least minimize the impact of, their greatest weaknesses and Achilles' heal.

If you, as I am, seek and desire increasing success in the future, then grab a pen and paper.  Write down and acknowledge your weaknesses.  Then write down how you are going to invest time and take specific steps to begin addressing and overcoming them.  Then act.  Consistently.  Every day.  Enlist the help of others.  Build a support team.  Make it happen. 

Our Enemy: Complacency

The alternative - complacency - is a sure recipe for failure and not achieving your goals.  Take full advantage of you natural personal strengths that you were blessed with; and with firm resolve address and overcome your weaknesses.  Success does not happen by default.  It must be purposefully achieved in spite of all that tends to slow you down and hold you back.  History abounds with those who have overcome great adversity; and those who have overcome their personal weaknesses and their Achilles' heal.  Can you and will you do the same?

Dinosaurs & Career Choices

Superman Last Year

Last Year my Son (3-Years-Old at that time) was obsessed with all things Super-Hero. 

Super man.  (Needless to say - his Favorite!) Spider man.  Bat man.  Aqua man.  Flash Gordon.  He just could not stop thinking about them.  He would dress up in his Superman Costume, Red Cape included, and run through the house.  Every time I witnessed this, of course, I thought to myself: Simply Priceless.  I really don't want my Son to grow out of this childhood phase.  But I knew of course that this was inevitable.

Now Dinosaurs

Now, he has suddenly transitioned to a new obsession phase: Dinosaurs.

A Four-Year-Old's capacity to learn about that which they are interested in amazes me.  My Son talks non-stop, all day, and in an enthusiastic fashion about the following types of Dinosaurs: Ultras auras; Diplopocus; Stegosaurus; Triceratops; and, his favorite, Tyrannosaurus.

In addition, he pronounces these difficult names in fluent fashion.  As opposed to me, who, when he asks me to read his Dinosaur-related Books to him, struggles through pronouncing many of the names.

Do We Have To Loose And Relinquish The Enthusiasm, Joy, & Fun Of Childhood?

Last year with the Super Hero Phase, and now, this year, with the Dinosaur Phase, I see in my Son's behavior and activities while he plays such unbridled enthusiasm, pure joy, great fun, and infinite passion.  I am jealous sometimes.  I often join him in his play and try to experience these emotions right along with him.  Sometimes I think he teaches me more than I teach him.  He inspires me; and he uplifts me. 

I pose this questions for consideration: is it a necessary part of growing up and being an adult to no longer experience these emotions and feelings?  Once we embark on a Career and decide upon a Career Choice must we give in to the notion that we will have fun and experience passion only while we are not working?  We work approximately one third of our daily allotment of time.  I think this is a sad reality for many people who have decided not to or are unable to pursue a Career and spend their working time doing something they care deeply about; that they are passionate about; then that, at the end of a long day of work gives they a sense of joy. 

We only have one life to live.  That life flies by; time is fleeting.  I think a secret to living a fulfilling and satisfying life is to choose a career path and to make a living doing something that is aligned with our purpose.  Something that gives our lives meaning.  Something that we feel passionate about.

Career Choices

Can we, you and I, experience enthusiasm, joy, fun, and passion while we work as adults?  Are these positive emotions solely reserved for early-life and Childhood? 

Deciding upon a particular career path to pursue is no easy decision.  There are so many factors; so many variables.  There is no one correct decision; there is no one incorrect indecision.  There are personal considerations to factor into the equation: one's personal natural strengths, talents, and ability.  Then there are external factors which exist in one's time and place to consider: in what fields is there currently great need and demand?  What are the projections of future growth and demand in a particular field or industry? 

This decision is not an easy one.

This decision will impact the quality of our lives, our Health, and our Happiness for the rest of our days.

So, I suggest we all incorporate the following vitally important questions into our thought process and let the answers guide us to the best possible decision:

What is it that we love to do?

What brings us joy?

What are we passionate about?

What positive change to you want to see in the world?

What are your natural strengths and talents to factor into the equation? 

In The End

At the end of the day; at the end of our Careers; at the end of our Lives......this single decision made when young will have impacted the quality of our lives and our legacy more than any other single factor. 

So Decide Carefully And With Purpose!

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw