Have you too been witness to pure evil and unfounded hatred?

I am very sorry to say that this is in fact a true story.  Two days ago I walked into a Chinese Restaurant to simply, I had hoped anyway, pick up Dinner for my Family.  Two Chicken & Broccoli Combos are what we ordered.

I had my Beautiful and Innocent Six-Year-Old-Daughter with me who I love with all my heart and had not yet, to this point in her life, been subjected to or witnessed the evil that sadly lurks among us.

Twenty minutes later I drove away red-faced, irate, bursting at the seams, disgusted, sad, with less faith in Humanity.  My Daughter was still smiling, bubbly, angelic; not having understood what she just personally witnessed right along with me.

Back to Our Entrance

My Daughter and I walked in following a Woman and a Man who I assumed to be her Son; they walked right up to the Employee working at the counter; then twenty minutes of uncalled for fiery stress, tension, and commotion began.

They were there to pick up their Chinese Food which they must have called in and ordered by phone.  But....they came in to pick up the food an hour late.  So, naturally, their food had cooled.  You could see some smoke still elevating off of the food they had ordered; but it was not as hot as it would have been if they had been in when they said they would.

The Woman, who appeared to have been drinking and/or doing drugs all day, said, in a loud and rude tone, that she was not going to pay for the food.  She demanded they throw it out and cook her new, replacement food.  The Owner stated, in a personable and professional tone of voice, that they unfortunately could not do that. 

The Woman immediately started swearing, screaming, and threatening.  The Owners and his Family tried to not respond in kind; but after a while, and understandably, he grew upset and yelled back in defense of themselves.

(My Young Daughter stood next to me, holding my hand, watching all of this escalate with a blank, not-understanding, innocent, and scared look on her face.)

(I was thinking to myself....you have got to be kidding me!  Imaging the timing required for me to arrive at the exact same moment as they Woman and Man who have to be the two rudest, most offensive, evil people I have seen in my life!)

Some People Just Lack Perspective

I thought to myself: there are sick people dying in Hospitals; Soldiers sacrificing their lives to defend our freedom, our rights, and to help others achieve the same; and there are Homeless People living on the streets simply praying for their next meal.  There are innocent people being killed by natural disasters such as Earthquakes and Tornado's. 

Yet, before me stood this lady; about to have a heart attack, cursing every bad word in the book in front of my Six-Year-Old-Daughter, and absolutely ruining the day of this hard-working Owner who was sweating his butt off and working hard along with his Family to make an honest living, all because she was very late and her food was not piping hot!

It got so bad (the worst possible curse words flying non-stop) that I asked them to be mindful of the Beautiful Little Girl standing next to me; they both responded by screaming that they "don't give a " "" and by saying they would kick my " ".  

I had to stay calm because my sole concern at the time was getting out of there with my Daughter safe and sound.  I feared they were looking for any reason to pull a knife or even a gun.  I had not witnessed such pure evil and intent to create conflict in a long time. 

Not Giving In To Hatred / Our Children







I still get upset as I type and re-tell this Real-Life and highly depressing Story that just occurred less than 48-hours-ago.

But....I will not give in to hatred.

People like the ones I have just described are fortunately the exception.  In retrospect I understand there are underlying stresses and difficulties which result in this seemingly incomprehensible behavior.

We try to be empathetic.  Though it is not easy.

Those of us that are raising young children who we love into this World have to beware of the evil and danger that unfortunately exists.  We have to live with it to a certain extent; and at the same time do all we can to address and lessen the evil circumstances around us.  Our Children will, as they grow, witness evil.  We can't shield them forever.  They will see it in their Schools.  On TV.  Read about in on the Internet; on their I-Phones.

All we can do is try to raise our Children with strong values, high morals, and a clear sense of right and wrong.

Faith, Hope, & Peace.

That is what we all need!

Change: Fear or Embrace?

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

Charles Darwin (1809-1882) English Naturalist

Fearing Change

Why do so many fear change? 

Because:

1. It is much easier to continue on with the status quo and to keep doing that which we have already mastered and does not require a great deal of conscious thought and effort.  Embracing and successfully navigating change is hard and requires that we renew our commitment to learning and growing; that we be comfortable with ambiguity and imperfection. 
2. Change, and any new challenge or endeavor which we embrace, brings with it the possibility of failure.  A likelihood that we will be less than perfect.  This fact makes people nervous and uneasy; they avoid potential change like the plague.  The fear of failure, sadly, holds many people back.  Keeps them stuck where they stand; firmly planted in their present situation and personal circumstances.  Unable to break free, move forward into unknown territory, and grow.  This is a sad fact. 
3. Some people lack the self-esteem and personal confidence required to succeed when making a life-change. 

Without positive change....we cannot grow.

Embracing Change

Why should we not fear change?

1. Because life is short.  Why not, instead of limiting ourselves, try to embrace change and a variety of life experience so that we can expand our horizons and grow?  Why be complacent and continue doing that which does not stretch our mind and broaden our experience?  That is how we grow.  That is how we gain perspective.  With infinite places to go, things to do, people to meet, experiences to be had, and unique moments to incorporate into our lives, we should embrace change.  Conquer our fear.  Overcome our reluctance and hesitancy to branch out and challenge ourselves.
2. New experiences are what gives us perspective, knowledge, and wisdom.  Sheepishly avoiding change and doing the same thing, in rote fashion, over and over again, keeps us where we are.  Prevents us from great and diverse possibilities that are available to those bold enough to pursue them.
3. Change keeps us young.  Keeps us sharp.  Forces us to stay on top of our game.  Keep learning.  Never stop acquiring new skills. 
4. Meeting new people.  Usually inherent in change is meeting new people; forging and building new positive relationships with diverse people.  That is what life is all about.  The media just reported that the population of Earth has surpassed 7 Billion People.  7 Billion!  Hard to fathom.  Why limit ourselves to the same people in the same circle of friends and family that we have always had?  Change always us to meet great new people and to be gain access to new knowledge, ideas, and experience. 

Three Indisputable Facts

1. We are getting older every day (if you deem a potential change to be a positive one which will help you grow and improve your circumstances, life, and happiness.....then muster up the courage to make that change; the opportunity will not always be there!)
2. If you do as you have always done.....you will keep getting the same result.  If you have a Dream or a Goal which you believe in passionately with all your heart - then find the courage to commence pursuit of that Dream or Goal.  If you don't, you will never know what might have been. 
3. Opportunities abound.  Listen, research, read, network, and never stop communicating with positive people that you trust.  Life can always change for the better if you so desire.  Be open-minded to recognizing great opportunities and then be confident and courageous is seizing them. 

As Michael Jackson stated in one of his most famous Songs: "If you want to make a change, take a look at yourself, and make that change." 

Stop 4 1 Second

Stop 4 1 Second!

Often, we find ourselves stuck in a routine.  A victim and hostage of our long-time habits.  We've been doing certain things, or certain things in a certain way, for so long, possibly for so many years, that we find it extremely difficult to stop, step back, and ask ourselves a couple important questions:

1. Why am I doing this? 
2. Is this the best way to do what I am doing?
3. Is this the best use of my time?
4. Should I stop doing this and do something else?
5. Is what I am doing and how I am spending my time, my days, and my life in line with and in support of my most important personal goals and objectives?

Life is so, so short.  Every minute, day, week, month, and year is flying by.  Consistently, forcibly, and in an unstoppable manner. 

Someday towards the end of our lives we will be sitting in a chair, looking back, and assessing our life; we will ponder what we accomplished, what we did not accomplish but wish we had, and what our legacy will be.  How did we impact people lives?  Did we make a difference?  Did we make things better?  Were we successful according to our own personal definition of success? 

(We devote our time, money, and energy into what we value the most!)

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to Stop 4 1 Second.  Assess.  Evaluate.  Give ourselves a report card.  Critique ourselves.  Be honest. 

Change course if you must; make a change if needed!  Be brave.  Be courageous.  Be willing to adapt and proceed in a different manner if that is what is needed to help you with time achieve your goals.  To be successful.  To lead a purposeful life.  To make a difference.

Do not let the force of habit, complacency, and a fear of change hold you down. 

Stop 4 1 Second.

But then get moving again, steadfast, in the direction you choose..........time is of the essence!

When you look back at your life, many years from now, you want to be able to say "no regrets."  Good Job.  Success.  If you let life slide by and live without periodically taking time to assess and adjust to all of the inevitable change if your life and the world around you, you may be looking back without such admiration.....and instead with regret.

Website: Selling By Building 
Twitter: SellByBuild

Don't Over Complicate Networking!

Simplifying and Enjoying the Process of Networking

The Focus is Simple:

1.  Consistently meet new people who are or will be in a position to help you, as well as you helping them in return of course, meet your personal goals.  To achieve long-term success the need for this will not diminish with time.  Make this an enjoyable part of the fabric of your life and you will forever reap the benefits.

2.  Confidently and Clearly articulate and spread your message.  Believe in yourself.  Have faith.  Be mindful that you are not bothering people or interrupting people; in fact, you are trying to get a very important message to them.....the message that you are unique, special, honest (I hope!), and have great knowledge and expertise.  Your Business can and would love to help them identify and implement solutions to their problems.  You can actually help them reach their goals.  Why be reluctant to deliver such a positive message?  You only have very short and brief periods of time to get your message across to those you are communicating with. 

Perception of Networking

Do you avoid Networking? 
Do you perceive the Process of Networking as a "chore" which you must reluctantly force yourself to complete?
Are you uncomfortable in Networking settings?
Do you fear that no one really wants to meet you and learn more about you and your business and the value you have to offer?

Networking should be fun!  If you learn to enjoy the Process you will in fact be much more successful!  Remove the stress.  Do not procrastinate.  Keep in mind that everyone is in the same boat.  Regardless of what particular industry one works in or what one does for a living, they can benefit from consistent and successful networking.  They too (they very people you desire to meet and network with) are also pondering how they can be more successful, meet more people, and maximize the results of all of their interactions with decision makers and influential people.

They want to meet you!  So what are you waiting for?  Change your mindset, approach the Process with Enthusiasm, and you will achieve far greater success and results!

Networking Tips

• Prepare, Practice, and Build your Confidence in advance.  Your level of confidence will be broadcast by your voice, your message, and your body language.  If you lack confidence it will show.  So work on this in advance. 
• Be Genuine.  Always.  Authentic.  Make sure you are not perceived as being phony and solely meeting someone to be a vulture who is solely trying to extract market knowledge or information for your personal benefit.  Mutually Beneficial.  Over time all relationships, whether personal or business, have to be mutually beneficial.  This is a critical objective when communicating that is not easily achieved.  No body wants to establish a relationship with someone they perceive as selfish and only seeking personal gain.  What can you do for them?  Are you the kind of person who enjoys helping others succeed or are you solely interested in your own success?  Keely observant people have a sixth sense.  The will quickly filter out and remove from their line of sight people they do not trust. 
• Be Positive. 
• Be Enthusiastic.
• Be a Great and Empathetic Listener!  I can tell when somebody is only 20% listening and tuned in to the the conversation in progress.  Very annoying and damaging to establishing a relationship!  I can also quickly tell when someone is not making good eye-contact and trying to sneak looks around the room to see who else they should be networking and marketing to.  This certainly does not help establish trust and a strong relationship right off the bat. 
• Be Unique and Memorable.  If someone is at a Networking/Marketing Event and they meet 20 people they are not going to clearly remember and recall all 20 people.  They are going to remember those who succeeded at standing out; being unique; and leaving an indelible positive impression.  They are going to remember that person who quickly and clearly conveyed the fact they have something valuable that can help people or businesses improve and achieve a higher level of success.  They are going to hold on tightly that business card and not toss it into a trash can at their earliest convenience. 

Success

Approach Networking from the Perspective that nothing is more important to your long-term success than your ability to successfully build strong and trusting positive relationships with everyone you interact with; and the more people with whom you achieve this goal the better!  Your Success depends on it!  The more people you meet and interact with the more ideas and information you have access to and can learn from. 

"Business, after all, is nothing more than a bunch of human relationships."
-Lee Iaccoca
Master, Embrace, and Enjoy the Process and Art of Networking.  Success will follow.

Title & Subject Unknown At This Point!

Subject Unknown

I have not posted a new Selling By Building Blog since September 27th, 2011.

I need to; I enjoy writing; and it is very important for my Business.

Since that date (since 9/27/11) I have signed on to Blogger numerous (many I should say) times with the honest intention or writing a new Blog.  Yet, the fact remains I have not completed and published a new Blog recently.

Why?

Procrastination; Hesitation; Busy Schedule; Lack of Faith; Uncertainty; Inspiration Missing.

Sometimes in life, quite frequently in fact, we have to be creative and take a risk to get beyond a stumbling block.  To regain momentum.  To push forth towards our Goals and Dreams!

Today, I am proceeding in an unusual and most likely not-highly-recommended manner.  Conventional Wisdom will not agree with what I am attempting to achieve.  I have inserted the Title "Title & Subject Unknown At This Point" because, well, that fact is the unfortunate truth as of this very point in time.

I have not been able to complete a new Blog recently because I have not been inspired with a specific idea about which to write.  I have been awaiting specific inspiration.  The specific inspiration I have sought never surfaced.  So today, right now in fact, I have begun without yet having a clear subject to write about.

Where shall I start?

I am writing this Blog to help support and promote my Small Consulting Business: Selling By Building.  I try to keep the subjects of this Blog related to and in support of the same areas I choose to focus on in my Business: Sales & Customer Care; Accounting & Finance; Communications; Business Development.

To assist me with my Goal here of coming up with a specific subject......I ponder all of the other Great Blogs I have been reading recently.  I am immersed in Social Media so I am consistently introduced to great recommended Blogs by people I am "connected with" and share content with on Twitter, LinkedIn, Stumbleupon, Google+ etc.

I follow the recommendations of people I am connected with who steer me to specific content on a daily basis and read great Blogs on the subjects of Sales, Customer Care, Accounting & Finance, Communications, and Business Development.  I really enjoy and learn a great deal from this content and these Blogs.  Over time I have grown to fully appreciate the great and infinite power of and value of the Internet and Social Media.  I actually do not consider it "work" which I must endure to try to promote my Consulting Business.  In fact, I really love the process.  Building Relationships is fun. Life before Social Media is now hard to remember. 

Twitter Power

When I first heard about "Twitter" I thought it was something on the "fringe" that I would never need to learn about.  Now, it is a part of my daily existence.  The first time I finally pushed the "Enter Button" to Post a Tweet I was so nervous and reluctant that it is now, in retrospect, laughable.  It was like I selfishly thought that when I Posted that very first Tweet that all 7 Billion People on the Planet were going to instantly read it and collectively laugh at what I had just "Tweeted."  Now, I Tweet daily and confidently.  With a clear mission of simply and honestly sharing content, ideas, and my philosophy to try to help everyone that I am connected with, I proceed without hesitation.  I proceed with a mission.  And I believe in what I am doing. 

Being consistently immersed in the World of Blogging and Content-Sharing on a daily basis one would think that I would be able to quickly and easily come up with a clear, concise, and interesting specific Subject for this Blog.  It should be easy.  With no hesitation.

Don't you agree?  Or have you too experienced "writer's block?"  Do you from time to time not know where to begin on a particular project? 

Conclusion

I began writing this Blog without a specific subject at the forefront of my mind.  But I proceeded anyway with an honest desire and commitment to create with my written word something that a reader might enjoy.  An entertaining Blog.  Unique.  A Blog that, despite having no official Title and known Subject-Matter, might retain the interest of my Readers to the very end.  I have actually enjoyed the creative process of writing this Blog, the Blog With No-Subject.  I have overcome the hurdle of getting another Blog posted.  I have achieve this one small Goal on this very day.  Next time of course I will have to start with a Known Title & Subject. 

But this was fun!

Looking back now since I am in Blog-Closing Mode, the Subject Areas which ended up being the focus of this Blog were: Goals & Stumbling Blocks; Social Media & Communication; Creativity; and, of course, Blogging!  These are all great subjects which interest me a great day.  So there we go.  The Subjects of this Blog have, over time, revealed themselves.

Now why didn't I just think of those Subjects to begin with before I began writing this Blog?  It just wasn't meant to be.  But, actually, it was more fun and rewarding proceeding as I did.

Lesson Learned

The next time you come face-to-face with an annoying and stubborn stumbling-block try proceeding in a creative, unique, unconventional manner.  Take a Risk.  Push Forth.  Think out-of-the-box.  Find a way to have fun.  Continued inaction and procrastination is a sure-fire recipe for failure.  Taking action and taking a calculated risk can be a prudent step forward to help move you closer to your goals and greater success.

Thank You and Have a Great Day!
Mark