"I Forgot" -vs- " I Chose Not To"

Accepting responsibility for our behavior is not always easy.  Making excuses when someone brings something out our attention that we did wrong is easy.

I have finally achieved success in trying to teach my 7-Year-Old Daughter the critical difference between accepting ownership when we do something wrong or even in a less-than-ideal manner.

She used to say "I Forgot" automatically and passionately whenever I would have to discipline her for not doing something properly.  This to me implied that she was not accepting responsibility for her actions and not making a mental note to improve or avoid making the same mistake going forward.  Which is exactly what kept happening, consistently, and to my dismay and frustration.

After Months of my pleading and educating her on the critically important difference between saying in a flippant manner "I Forgot" and, as a healthier and more beneficial manner, saying "I Chose Not To," she finally understands the difference.  She know properly responds "I Chose Not To."

The former ("I Forgot" to clean my room; to bring the dishes to the Kitchen; to put my toys away; etc.) conveys a quick excuse with no responsibility assumed or commitment made to improving in the future.

The ladder ("I Chose Not To") conveys her realization that she needs to accept complete ownership of her actions and that she has the ability to focus on certain matters as needed to improve and avoid making the same mistake twice.

Life Lesson For Us All: Always accept responsibility for our actions and the outcomes we achieve.  Excused get us nowhere and actually hurt us be not allowing us to improve, consistently, and as needed to work toward the goal of being the best we can be in life.

Making mistakes is human; not accepting responsibility and making recurring mistakes is unnecessary, hurts us in life and our pursuit of career goals, and is a detriment to our Growth and Personal Improvement.

Never Give Up

Never Give Up

April 16th, 2012

Not When the Goal and Mission is still important to you.

Not When you know that - deep inside your heart and soul where nobody can see - that once you cross that finish line (despite all odds, despite the nay-sayers, despite your personal challenges, despite your known and acknowledged weaknesses, despite the cynics who freely shared their opinion that you could not do it, despite the fact that so many who have gone before you have failed, despite the fact that you were slowed down and nearly stopped numerous times by unanticipated difficult obstacles that arose and tried to prevent your progressing) you will feel exhilarated, proud, renewed, accomplished, and stronger because you Achieved Your Stated Goal!

Giving Up is Easy.

Staying On Task is Hard.

Throwing in the Towel might be what most people have done and would do in your situation and considering what you are facing.......

     But, the question is, what are you going to do?

Revisit Your Original Thought Process when you made the personal decision to pursue this particular Goal. 

Is the reasoning still sound?  Do the factors that prompted you in the first place still exist?  Do you remember all of the benefits that you anticipated when you first embarked on this path to be achieved when you successfully achieved the Goal?  Consider the Costs and Sacrifices; did you anticipate correctly?  Do the forecasted Benefits still outweigh the forecasted Costs and Sacrifices? 

 

The Greater the Benefits to be Achieved the Greater the Sacrifice and Cost Required!

 

The harder you have to work to get there the greater the feeling of achievement once your Goal is Achieved!

 

A Renewed Commitment will be required numerous times on the way.

 

Consider.....

 

How Close are you?

How Much have you sacrificed?

How Much have you learned along the way?

How Much more will you learn if you persevere?

 

How Badly do you want it?

 

How do you think you Will Feel when you overcome all obstacles in your path to Achieve Your Goal?

How do you think your Family, your Friends, and all others you care about Will Feel when you overcome all obstacles in your path to Achieve Your Goal?

 

After honestly pondering these considerations......how do you feel and what are you thinking?

 

You know what you have to do.  You know where you want to go.  You know that deep inside you have the emotional reserves, the energy, the commitment, the drive, the desire; you know you have

what it takes.

 

Life is Short; Time is Flying By and Finite; You Have Set A Very Important and High-Priority Personal Goal that has not yet been achieved.

 

Now what are you going to do next? 

 

Never Give Up...Persevere & Recommit

Never Give Up...Be Creative and Find a Way

Never Give Up...Reach Out Openly To Trusted Mentors For Help

Never Give Up...Improve Your Planning & Execution

Never Give Up...Work Harder; and Work Smarter - Strive For Efficiency

Never Give Up...and Focus More On Helping Others Achieve Success & Happiness - doing so will result in greater and increasing success for you; we have to give more to get more!

 

See You At The Finish Line.

 



Curiosity & Age

Are we, once we slip out of Childhood, supposed to stop being curious? 

My Four-Year-Old, who will stealthily transition to becoming a Five-Year-Old in less than an month, is increasingly curious about all things.  Nothing and no question is out of bounds.  His creativity and imagination are sources of priceless questions: some I can easily answer; some I cannot answer; but all of them are welcome.

I tell my Son: keep the questions coming Buddy; this is how we learn.  If you keep asking questions, whenever curiosity kicks in and you want to learn more about any subject, concept, process, etc., before you know it you will have great knowledge. 

Then, I think to myself, if he, any child, or even us, would not hesitate to ask questions, or conduct immediate research and inquiry to close any knowledge gap that comes to our attention, we would in no time have great knowledge.  If we would all continue this worthy goal and process throughout our lives we would never stop learning.  We would never get bored.  We would continue to grow - and I think that's what life is all about - throughout our lives.  Middle-Age is not an excuse to stop asking questions and learning; and retirement is not an excuse to stop asking questions and learning.

My Father is 84-Years-Old.  He espouses this philosophy.  He always has numerous books at his bedside for periodic reading on diverse subjects such as Calculus, History, Philosophy, etc.  Last year he mentioned to me the possibility of and his desire to get a Part-Time Job.  Age is no excuse.  In fact, my Father conveys that all of his friends who retired extremely young and who both did not work, volunteer, or have a passionate hobby to sink their teeth into, all died young.  The mind when not challenged and stretched will give in to atrophy; then rapid aging; towards a slow death.  The mind when kept curious, seeking knowledge, challenged by new ideas and concepts, continues to grow and stays sharp.

Recently my Son has out of nowhere offered the following inquiries:

• Who created God?
• What are trees made of?
• How does the lightening cause the power to go out?
• What does an engine do?  How does it do it?

I always tell my Son keep asking questions; if I don't know the answer (quite common!!) we will research together to find us the answer.

The Joys of Parenthood.

Curiosity is a good thing.  I hope my Son is still seeking answers to great questions when he turns 100.

Mental Game

I am in the Doctor's Office. Awaiting my turn. Patiently. Thinking. Planning. Questioning myself. Doubting myself. Am I on the right path? Does Success or Failure await down the road?

I am thinking........

How do I achieve success despite my known flaws?

Can I focus my Business Plan and efforts solely on doing what I love to do and am passionate about and be able to earn a sufficient income?

What do I need to start doing differently?

What do I need to stop doing to increase the likelihood of ultimate success?

As I ponder these questions I think to myself: I am not alone in my quest to find answers to these questions.

All over Syracuse, New York State, the United States, and all other Countries that share this Planet with us, people are pondering the same. Searching for the answers that will help them succeed.

Everyone has doubts that lurk in our minds and try to sabotage our dreams and most lofty goals.

I don't know the answers.

My search will continue.

I cannot do it all alone.

I will reach out to those who are able and willing to help, support, and guide.

A Team of Supporters. Positive. Experienced. Generous with their knowledge and insights.

That is what I need.

That is what we need.

Achieving Goals takes great effort. Great perseverance; and a willingness to reach out for help when needed.

Still waiting for the Doctor.

Time proceeds as always one measured minute at a time.

Into the Future we go.............

Roadblocks To Success and How We React

Difficult Decisions & Personal Goals

Whenever we make the highly personal decision, after great consideration, to pursue a new particular Career Path or a new exciting Personal Goal, we will shortly thereafter come up against, face-to-face, and inevitably, various Roadblocks To Success that will define us when we look back many years from now.

How successful we are overcoming these roadblocks along each journey we embark on will either make us; or break us.  Bring us closer to success and to achieving our personal goals; or set us back, slowing us down, giving us reason to pause, and instilling the powerful and nagging seed of doubt into our minds.  We have to tend to these seeds before they firmly take hold; we have to take positive steps so that they never have the opportunity to grow and kill our dreams.  We have to replace them with focused action that will move us forward.  One step at a time.

What To Do?

When our New Journey began we were enthusiastic; energized; optimistic.   Nothing could stop us.  Nothing would stand in our way.

Then, without proper notice or warning, a Roadblock arose out on nowhere which now stands as a challenge to be dealt with and between us and our Goals and Dreams:

• A sudden personal illness
• Suddenly, a family member or close friend is struck with a sudden serious illness that weighs heavily on you
• You are layed off from your job
• You incur a sudden and significant personal expense which throws a wrench into all of the careful planning, forecasting, and budgeting that you worked on so diligently in your planning phase
• You have a very bad experience which has badly weakened your confidence and is causing you to doubt your ability to continue on toward your goals
This list could go on and on.  The examples of potential roadblocks and challenges that we can all encounter along the way are endless.
The Question is: How Will We React and What Will We Do?
Our mettle will be tested.  Our resolve will be measured.  Our commitment, or lack thereof, will be thrust to the forefront and will be the critical factor that will impact our ultimate success or failure more than any other.

Several all-important questions will have to be pondered and then need to be answered on a deeply personal level:

1. How badly do we want it?
2. How much passion do we have to give us sufficient strength to overcome each roadblock we discuss that will stand, firmly, between us and our Goals?
3. Why are we doing what we are doing?  What were the original factors that resulted in our personal decision to pursue this particular path or goal?
4. How will our lives ultimately change for the better if the goal or objective we have set is successfully achieved in the future?  What benefits can we predict?  Will the quality of our lives improve?  Will we be happier?  Will the quality of our loved ones improve?  Will they be happier?
5. Finally: Which is stronger and a more formidable force: us or the Roadblock that stands before us?  Which has more resolve to win? 

Success

There is a reason many people make personal decisions to not pursue their goals and dreams!

They know that achieving their Goals and Great Success would not be easy.  Would not be without sacrifice.  Hard work.  Commitment.  Stress.  And....Roadblocks.  Numerous; and inevitable.

We have chosen an alternate path.  The only path that could possibly result in our achieving success and in reaching the personal goals we have set: we chose to commence pursuit of our goals and dreams.  We chose to take a chance.  A risk.  To not be complecent. 

Now.....wherever we all are along our personal journeys, we need to stand firm; persevere; and do whatever it takes to stay on mission and moving forward. 

We have to muster up every bit of energy and creativity, utilize all of our life experience, and surround ourselves with a Team of Positive Supporters.  We have to learn from those who have gone before us.  Those who have, before they reached their Goals and Great Success, come face-to-face with their own personal Roadblocks to Success.  They choose to not back down.  They found a way.  They made it. 

So can we.....one positive step and interaction at a time. 

Success Awaits. 

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

Organization Frustration / Achilles' heel / Ultimate Success

Imperfection

We all have, if we are honest with ourselves, certain areas of our lives in which we can achieve improvement.  Where we need to improve if we are to succeed.  Where we are vulnerable.  Areas where we have received criticism, constructive and otherwise, from others throughout our lives.

Our individual "Achilles' heel."

An Achilles' heel is defined by Wikipedia as:

An Achilles’ heel is a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, metaphorical references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to downfall are common.
-Wikipedia

Being Honest With Ourselves

We all have one.  It's existence is well-known; we have always battled it's existence and tried to either ignore or tried to as I would suggest take and address head-on.  A fierce and never-ending life-long battle between our natural and inescapable tendencies and our ideal self which we are trying to create.

Keep This Reality of Life In Mind though:

If life was easy and we did not have any great challenges and personal obstacles (our personal life-long "Achilles' heel") to overcome then achieving success and ultimately reaching our personal goals would not be so deeply rewarding and satisfying!

What is your Achilles' heel?

• Poor Organizational Skills which sometimes hamper you and prevent you from achieving success?
• An uncontrollable temper and fiery emotions which you cannot contain and often end up hurting you and your efforts to succeed in some way?
• Deep-rooted insecurity and a lack of confidence which hold you back and keep you in your place?
• A lack of natural people-skills and positive communication skills which sometimes destroys your efforts to go after and implement your Vision and go after your Goals?

This list could be endless.  I could go on and on. 

Or do you not have one due to the fact you have achieved perfection?  A perfect state of being?

Likely this is not the case.  Unless you are delusional and not willing to acknowledge reality, your faults, and the areas where you can benefit from improving. 

Organization Frustration

My Achilles' heel, as you may have guessed, is a lack of natural Organizational Skills.

To achieve success, and increasing levels of success as I desire, I need to get this fact right out in the open.  Recognition is the first step as they say.  Denial gets us absolutely no where and, over time, keeps us firmly planted where we began.  Held back.  Weighed down.  Kept from reaching any exciting personal and professional goals which we have set for ourselves and dreamed of.

I have resolved, out of necessity and recognition of the fact that my doing so is critical and vital to my future success, to consistently investing time, money, and energy into improving my Organizational Skills. 

I have to take time, to set aside time, every day, to Organize.  To Plan.  To Prioritize.  To Strategize.  As the saying goes - nobody plans to fail; they fail to plan.

I need to Organize.  Plan.  Prioritize.  Strategize.  Every Single Day. 

I recognize this need for improvement and am confident that I will achieve success.  I will have fun in the Process and reach out to others for advice, expertise, and support.  I will research the subject and read and educate myself consistently on the subject of how to improve organizational skills.  I will not give up.  Whether or not I achieve ultimate success hangs in the balance!

Ultimate Success

How sad it truly is when someone reaches a point in there lives where they accept the status quo.  Where they no longer recognize the need for improvement.  Where they no longer take steps to improve themselves.  To openly, aggressively, and tenaciously take on their own personal Achilles' heel whatever that may be.

We are all blessed with both strengths and we all, without exception, have weaknesses.

The line between the highly successfully and those who fail to achieve great success and to achieve their personal goals and objectives is drawn and distinguished by either their failure or their success to take on in an honest fashion and overcome, or at least minimize the impact of, their greatest weaknesses and Achilles' heal.

If you, as I am, seek and desire increasing success in the future, then grab a pen and paper.  Write down and acknowledge your weaknesses.  Then write down how you are going to invest time and take specific steps to begin addressing and overcoming them.  Then act.  Consistently.  Every day.  Enlist the help of others.  Build a support team.  Make it happen. 

Our Enemy: Complacency

The alternative - complacency - is a sure recipe for failure and not achieving your goals.  Take full advantage of you natural personal strengths that you were blessed with; and with firm resolve address and overcome your weaknesses.  Success does not happen by default.  It must be purposefully achieved in spite of all that tends to slow you down and hold you back.  History abounds with those who have overcome great adversity; and those who have overcome their personal weaknesses and their Achilles' heal.  Can you and will you do the same?

Dinosaurs & Career Choices

Superman Last Year

Last Year my Son (3-Years-Old at that time) was obsessed with all things Super-Hero. 

Super man.  (Needless to say - his Favorite!) Spider man.  Bat man.  Aqua man.  Flash Gordon.  He just could not stop thinking about them.  He would dress up in his Superman Costume, Red Cape included, and run through the house.  Every time I witnessed this, of course, I thought to myself: Simply Priceless.  I really don't want my Son to grow out of this childhood phase.  But I knew of course that this was inevitable.

Now Dinosaurs

Now, he has suddenly transitioned to a new obsession phase: Dinosaurs.

A Four-Year-Old's capacity to learn about that which they are interested in amazes me.  My Son talks non-stop, all day, and in an enthusiastic fashion about the following types of Dinosaurs: Ultras auras; Diplopocus; Stegosaurus; Triceratops; and, his favorite, Tyrannosaurus.

In addition, he pronounces these difficult names in fluent fashion.  As opposed to me, who, when he asks me to read his Dinosaur-related Books to him, struggles through pronouncing many of the names.

Do We Have To Loose And Relinquish The Enthusiasm, Joy, & Fun Of Childhood?

Last year with the Super Hero Phase, and now, this year, with the Dinosaur Phase, I see in my Son's behavior and activities while he plays such unbridled enthusiasm, pure joy, great fun, and infinite passion.  I am jealous sometimes.  I often join him in his play and try to experience these emotions right along with him.  Sometimes I think he teaches me more than I teach him.  He inspires me; and he uplifts me. 

I pose this questions for consideration: is it a necessary part of growing up and being an adult to no longer experience these emotions and feelings?  Once we embark on a Career and decide upon a Career Choice must we give in to the notion that we will have fun and experience passion only while we are not working?  We work approximately one third of our daily allotment of time.  I think this is a sad reality for many people who have decided not to or are unable to pursue a Career and spend their working time doing something they care deeply about; that they are passionate about; then that, at the end of a long day of work gives they a sense of joy. 

We only have one life to live.  That life flies by; time is fleeting.  I think a secret to living a fulfilling and satisfying life is to choose a career path and to make a living doing something that is aligned with our purpose.  Something that gives our lives meaning.  Something that we feel passionate about.

Career Choices

Can we, you and I, experience enthusiasm, joy, fun, and passion while we work as adults?  Are these positive emotions solely reserved for early-life and Childhood? 

Deciding upon a particular career path to pursue is no easy decision.  There are so many factors; so many variables.  There is no one correct decision; there is no one incorrect indecision.  There are personal considerations to factor into the equation: one's personal natural strengths, talents, and ability.  Then there are external factors which exist in one's time and place to consider: in what fields is there currently great need and demand?  What are the projections of future growth and demand in a particular field or industry? 

This decision is not an easy one.

This decision will impact the quality of our lives, our Health, and our Happiness for the rest of our days.

So, I suggest we all incorporate the following vitally important questions into our thought process and let the answers guide us to the best possible decision:

What is it that we love to do?

What brings us joy?

What are we passionate about?

What positive change to you want to see in the world?

What are your natural strengths and talents to factor into the equation? 

In The End

At the end of the day; at the end of our Careers; at the end of our Lives......this single decision made when young will have impacted the quality of our lives and our legacy more than any other single factor. 

So Decide Carefully And With Purpose!

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw

Get Your Priorities In Order.....Before It's Too Late

What are your Personal and Most-Important Priorities? 

Have you considered this question lately?  What are you focusing your time and energy on every day?  Are you achieving success and are you achieving the Goals that you have set for yourself?  Might you be in need of a Priority Re-Alignment to get you back on track and heading in the direction you want to go in?

Only you can answer this deeply personal question.  Only you know what your most important Goals and Objectives are!  Only you know whether or not you are succeeding in life and moving successfully closer to all you want to achieve every single day.

One thing is for sure: time is flying by.  We are not getting any younger.  If your daily efforts and activity is not in sync with your most important life goals and objectives - you will most likely not achieve them. 

Achieving Success

 If that is currently the case, immediate correction action is required.  Success will not happen by accident or default. 

Our Dreams and Most Important Personal Goals will not become reality unless we strategically make them happen; one step and one decision at a time. 

Consider the following:

1. Have you had deep in the recesses of your mind a strongly-held Personal Dream that you have never acted on?  Can you not get this Dream and Desire out of your head?  Is this a Dream that uplifts you, fills you with passion and energy, and you believe if pursued and achieved would make you more happy and fulfilled?  We only live once.  The majority of people fail to muster up the courage and personal initiative to make the decision to Pursue Their Dreams.  Are you merely one of the many who fail to act, take the risk, and pursue your dreams?  Or.....
2. Are your days worked according to a flexible and well-though-out Plan that is in alignment with the Goals you want to achieve?  Or are you not working according to any plan, always in reactive mode allowing others to dictate how you spend your time and on what you focus your finite energy?  No one plans to fail; they just fail to plan.  Sit down with a sheet of paper; clarify and write down what are the most important Goals and Objectives you want to achieve; and then translate those into a series of steps and actions you need to take every day.  Live and Work according to a Plan.  Make it Flexible; but make it strategically effective. 
3. Are you, by habit, doing things that drain you of your limited energy?  Things that bring you and increase your stress-levels?  Things that are harming your body and mind?  Life is Not Easy.  Managing Stress is Not Easy.  But, succumbing to the lure of bad habits that drain us physically, emotionally, and spiritually is a sure-fire way of loosing sight of our priorities and failing to achieve greatness.  Address these habits now; before it's too late.  Be honest; reach out and get help; and begin turning your life around.
4. Have you fallen into the me-first, only-me, strictly self-centered trap that many fall prey to?  Are you solely concerned with you?  Your needs and wants?  One of the Secrets of Successful People is that they make it their life-mission to help others; to help other People, Companies, and Organizations achieve greater Success and Happiness.  We are all part of Community.  We are not an island.  Alone we are limited; working together we can achieve great success.  We all need a Support Team.
5. Are you taking life and the positive aspects of that life for granted?  Do you not fully appreciate the following Blessings:

• Your Relative Health
• Your Family and Loved Ones
• Your ability to make a living and put Food on the Table for your and your Family
• The fact that you have Sufficient Shelter for you and your Family

How would your Life and Your Priorities Change tomorrow morning if today, as is always a possibility every day for every one of us, that:

You have just been diagnosed with Stage-Four Lung Cancer.  The Doctor says you will unfortunately most likely not live beyond six months.  How would this impact you and your Priorities?  What would you do?

Your Spouse or one of your Children has just been diagnosed with Stage-Four Lung Cancer. The Doctor says they will unfortunately most likely not live beyond six months. How would this impact you and your Priorities?  What would you do?

You have either just been fired from you job, or, in an accident, you been rendered incapable of continuing making a living doing what you have been trained to do and what you have been doing your entire adult life.  You are suddenly faced with the need to provide for you and your Family in the future but now with severely limited capacity to work.  How would this impact you and your Priorities?  What would you do?

These thoughts and considerations immediately put our lives in focus.  Give us the Clarity we have lacked.  They force us to suddenly cut through the fat.  The largess.  The unnecessary.  Then focus on only that which is important.  Live with Purpose.  Do not fail to appreciate all you have while at the same time striving to increase your success.  Live so that you have no regrets.

Again.....after have considered the above thoughts and considerations:

What are your Priorities?  What are your Goals?  What are you doing, every day, to make sure you Achieve Success?  What do you need to start, tomorrow, doing differently to increase the likelihood that your Dreams will be Fulfilled?

Without Passion

5 Reasons Why Great Passion Is Required To Succeed As A Business Owner and Entrepreneur

1. Without Passion.....one would not have the Courage,  Resolve, and Confidence to leave the 8 to 5 Traditional Workplace to Follow Their Dream and start their own Small Business when they are fully aware that, according to the SBA (Small Business Association) 4 out of every 5 new Small Businesses with fail withing 5 years.  The odds are against us.  Some risks are not worth taking.  Some risks though, after careful consideration, soul-searching, and careful planning, are worth taking...and can change the course of and improve our life if we insist on success and stay the course with fierce determination.  Life is Short.  Carpe Diem.  Dreaming without taking action gets us nowhere and only leaves us with regrets.
 
2. Without Passion.....one would not be willing to sacrifice their income and lifestyle at the beginning which is necessary when starting one's own Small Business.  One must be willing to sacrifice only that which can and should be sacrificed; and at the same time keep one's priorities - the most important things in life (Family and Friends) in their rightful place at the head of the table.
 
3. Without Passion.....one would not be able to successfully navigate and overcome the inevitable failures and mistakes in the beginning.  I have made mistakes.  I have failed.  I have gotten frustrated.  I have questioned myself.  But I will not quit.  I will learn from my mistakes and strive, consistently, and assuredly, to improve every single day.  Without doing so - failure would be inevitable.
 
4. Without Passion.....one would let the many Nay-Sayer's, negative forces, and non-believers have undue influence on our dreams, goals, and life-choices; and possibly even derail the mission and the commitment.  Sufficient Passion Only allows us to keep our eyes and out focus on the goals and objectives that we have set for ourselves and our businesses.  A lack of Passion makes us vulnerable.  Great Passion allows us to stand tall and strong; determined and resilient.
 
5. "Nothing Great In The World Has Ever Been Accomplished Without Passion"
-Hebbel
 
The Entrepreneurial Decision-Making Process
 
 
A ways back - a little over a year ago - when I was considering and pondering venturing out on my own and starting my own Small Consulting Business I had a long and extremely valuable with a very good friend of mine who was and is a highly successful Entrepreneur and Small Business Owner.  I have great respect for him and for all he has accomplished in the twenty-five years since he started his Business during our Senior Year in High School.
 
My friend was walking a fine line between trying to be supportive and enthusiastic while at the same time conveying to me to many risks, difficulties, challenges, and pitfalls of owning one's own Small Business.
 
He kept - intermittently - apologizing; he was concerned, rightfully, that I might not understand how difficult and risky starting my own business would be. 
 
I remember the conversation so well.  I listened intently to and deeply considered every thought, warning, and caveat my friend expressed.  I welcomed his ideas and every single "con" to starting one's own business that he shared.  He was not someone just being negative and non-supportive; he was being a good friend helping me to shed light on everything I needed to ponder and consider before I proceeded with my life change and starting my own business.
 
Each time he apologized, I said no need and please continue.  This exchange and the ideas that flowed went on for a long time.  The conversation was very important to me and valuable to me.  He helped me consider all aspects (the positive, the negative, the worst-case scenarios, the sacrifices that would be required) and all considerations that would help me, ultimately, make the best decision for me and my Family.
 
I made the decision, ultimately, and very carefully and cautiously, to proceed and start my own Small Consulting Business - Selling By Building.
 
I and Selling By Building are a work-in-progress.  I am staying on mission and am going to do all I can within my power to succeed.  To help as many Businesses and Individuals as I can.  A simple yet worthy mission.  At this early stage though I can share this fact: the experience itself, the people I have met, and the process so far, have improved the quality of my life and allowed me to focus solely on what I love to do and am passionate about.  What more could I ask for?  I heard on the radio just yesterday: "If You Can Make Your Vocation Your Vacation then you can lead a great, fulfilling, and rewarding life."    Powerful and So True.  We work a third of our lives.  Be better make that time count and meaningful.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

Closing The Sale With A Roll Of Toilet Paper

Closing The Sale With A Roll Of Toilet Paper

Please note, to be entirely honest with you, the following is, in fact, and maybe sadly, a true story!

I am not quire sure if I should be proud of this fact; or embarrassed.  But...we cannot hide from the truth.  I was young.  Very young.  It was, I believe, 1990.  I was only 21-Years-Old.  Just beginning my Journey into the exciting and at that time intimidating World of Sales.  Specifically: I was working at a local Retail Bedding Store.  We sold Mattresses and Accessories.  We sold "A Good Night's Sleep." 

 The Toilet Paper Story

At the Retail Bedding Store where I worked the highly experienced, very competitive Salespeople who I worked with and were training me back in 1990 took great pride in Closing Sales.  Our Goal: To Close Every Single Sale. 

• We were on Commission.  Our livelihoods depended on it.  At the age of 21, as was my priority at that time, I needed to generate money to go out on the town in Syracuse and have fun.  (how priorities change the course of 20 Years!)
• We were all fully indoctrinated in the theory that if someone makes the decision to, let's say on a Saturday Weekend Afternoon, set aside time to drive to a local Retail Bedding Store, spending their valuable and finite time, that they obviously have a specific and pressing need that needs to be met.  A problem which requires a solution.  A bad back, which their 20 year old Mattress is contributing to, that is causing them great pain and negatively impacting their life.  A Young Child that has outgrown their crib and now requires a bed.  And on and on.  There is a need.  It must be met.  If the Customer leaves the Store that need has not been met.  If you have truly done your job you will have utilized all of your extensive training, knowledge, and expertise, to provide that customer with a Solution.  All this in addition to the cost and investment required to as a first step get that Customer in the Door. 
• Pride.  Salespeople take great pride in achieving positive results.  Producing revenue.  Closing sales.  Being recognized.  
My Impenetrable Customer: Retelling The Story In Bullet-Point Fashion
• My Customer had been in the store for what I believe was going on two hours.  From the start I recognized him as the type of Customer who did not trust any Salespeople.  He must have had previous back experiences which he carried with him.  He would not make eye contact with me.  He communicated disbelieving body language and gestures throughout the time we had spent together.  He was a "notebook carrier."  A detail man.  A Consumer Reports Consumer.  Needless to say: he was hell-bent and determined to not make a buying decision on this particular day. 
• I, conversely, being young, confident, and slightly arrogant after having achieved great results in my young career, was 100% determined, focused, and insistent on meeting this particular customers needs right here, right now, on this particular Saturday Afternoon.
• This Gentleman had his Wife with him.  This was a positive for me.  Both ultimate decision makers were in attendance.  Not only that...but she was extremely nice, friendly, and she and I, unlike her Husband and I, had quickly forged a positive, trusting, friendly relationship. 
• After having tested, discussed, and compared, just about every single Mattress in the Store, along with every single Feature, Advantage, and Benefit of all, I knew that we had successfully narrowed it down the the single best option and solution to successfully meet this Client's needs. 
• After having tried to Close this Sale for what seemed like eternity......I was nearing the end of my patience as a young 20-Year-Old Man.  Granted, we can't, in reality, Close every Sale.  That is just the ideal.  That is the Goal we strive for.  But before I threw the towel in and accepted this reality for this particular customer, a sudden rather creative, in retrospect questionable, idea arose in my mind................................................
• Several Minutes Later I walked back onto the Sales floor with a brand new, unopened, roll of toilet-paper carefully held in my hand. 
• As a last-resort, at wit's end, and in a half-joking half-serious manner I raised that roll of toilet paper high up in the air and theatrically stated my offer that if they could find it in themselves to make a decision to buy that Mattress which we know is best for them and at the very best possible price I would, out of the generosity of my heart, include this Beautiful Roll of Toilet Paper along with their purchase!

Creativity and Resourcefulness

Sometimes in life, when the normal protocol and regular steps in a Process fail to produce the results we desire, we must try to be Creative and Resourceful.  Where there is a will there is a way!

My last-ditch effort and offer (which they knew was merely an attempt to break through the barrier that stood before me) to include a Beautiful Roll of Toilet Paper actually worked.  After a split-second reaction of shock and amazement, they laughed.  We all laughed.  Then I quickly re summarized the reasons the purchase was the right decision, now with the customer in a lighter and friendlier mood, and they gave the go-ahead.  I cannot recall, with 100% certainty, what kind of Toilet Paper it was which played a critical role in my Closing the Deal and Earning the Sale.  I'm sorry I can't share that important detail with you.  They didn't really take the Toilet Paper.  They appreciated the creative effort so much thought that they rewarded me with a Sale.

Sales: Thinking Out Of The Box

Remember The Toilet Paper......and Break Out The Creativity.  It might just work!

Your Participation

Have You ever had to resort to an extreme tactic and attempt to Close the Sale and Cross the Finish Line?  If so....please share....

Thank you!

Mark





Man in the Arena

Teddy Roosevelt

Teddy Roosevelt is, in my opinion, right on the mark!  Words spoke a hundred years ago still ring true from our Former President.  They incorporate great wisdom from a great man who had risen to be President of The United States of America.  But I will transition to that subject in a moment.

Who Else Is Seeking To Improve In An Area Of Their Life?

Recently, concluding 15 years of consistent intention but failing to follow through and take action, I joined Toastmasters. 

My clear-cut goal: to improve my Public Speaking Skills.  (if you find less-than-perfection in my Blog don't worry....I also embrace the goal of improving my Writing Skills as well!)

I have a lifetime of knowledge and experience acquired and many strongly-held beliefs and philosophies that I want to share and utilize to help as many People and Organizations improve and increase their levels of success as they like me strive to make the most out of our lives. 

But, I am more comfortable writing than I am speaking in front of large groups. 

Therefore, I have taken action.  To address this and improve.  Now rather than later. 

Toastmasters is a side note to the core of this particular message.  But, before I proceed, let me convey that joining this Organization is one of the smartest and most rewarding decisions I have made.  It is a positive, supportive, knowledgeable, optimistic group of people coming together with a singular purpose to help each other improve and be successful.  I am committed to open-minded in receiving the consistent feedback and to focus my efforts on improving my Public Speaking Skills.  It will be a long road. 

The first time I got up and spoke in front of our group - on day one I might add! - I quickly conveyed to all in attendance why I was there.  I spoke rapidly, incorporated "um" into my speech, and lacked organization in my articulation.  But...the only way any one of us is ever going to achieve real improvement where we are lacking is to attack the matter head-on.  Stand up.  Practice.  Practice.  Consistently.  Be secure enough to elicit feedback on how we can improve.  Incorporate that feed back.  And on and on.  Tenaciously.  Steadfastly.  Over time.....we will improve; by being tenacious and committed, we may even get to be very good. 

At our last Toastmasters Meeting a Speaker got up, right after me I might add which, relatively, really made him look like the greatest Public Speaker in the entire world, and read to the group a Famous Quote from Teddy Roosevelt that I had never heard. 

Man in the Arena

That Quote - now entitled "Man in the Arena" - was the perfect selection for Jason.  It was so relevant for me because I had just sat down red-faced having been reminded how lacking I am in Public Speaking.  Jason's delivery was perfect.  I was entranced.  The content and speech made by Teddy Roosevelt lifted me up!  Though I am lacking in an area of life in which I seek to improve; I was now in attendance at a Toastmaster's Meeting with a group of people I had just met.  I had gotten up and spoken in front of these people.  This took Courage.  Resolve.  Commitment.  I am on my way.

Teddy Roosevelt was, when he first uttered these words back in 1910, absolutely right on. 

Following is the "Man in the Arena" by Teddy Roosevelt.

Enjoy....and, If You have not yet done so and are standing on the sidelines of life, reluctant, hesitant, letting concerns about what others may or may not think hold you back....then I hope my Blog and Teddy's give you a slight nudge to get up and Jump Into The Arena!

My Goal is not to remind everyone how great Teddy Roosevelt was and how poetic he could be.  My Goal is to remind You and I that Life is Short; we only have one chance and opportunity to make the most of this life; so we had better refuse to sit comfortably on the Sidelines and rather by Fighting in the Arena.

Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena"

Man in the Arena

One of the top three most requested quotes is that regarding the "man in the arena" or "not the critic"

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Succeeding By Getting Mad

I'm Mad

Sometimes.....we just have to get mad.  Angry.  Fired up. 

For those of us who are facing the greatest challenges of our lives - in whatever form that great challenge may exist - we need to, somehow, someway, find a way to overcome the obstacles that stand between us and that which we desire; to focus only on the keys to success while not letting significant life distractions derail us; to muster up personal improvement in the areas that our greatest personal challenges lay. 

I'm Focused

Succeeding is not going to come easy.  In fact, is not going to come at all without our giving 110%. 

Achieving difficult Personal Goals may just never happen.  Starting to go after and pursue our Personal Dreams, Goals, and Desires is really easy.  Sticking to the task at hand though, once the going gets touch and the Obstacles arise, is not easy.  Being tenacious, steadfast, and absolutely never giving up until that Personal Goal is achieved is challenging, difficult, and exhausting. 

But The Prize Awaits.

Success is Possible.

Goals Can Be Achieved.

Obstacles Can Be Overcome And Destroyed With A Sledge-Hammer.

We can take our negative traits and characteristics and, over time, with a well-though-out game plan of attack, lessen their impact.  Even turn negatives into positives.  Turn life-long weaknesses
into strengths. 

Paying It Forward

I loved the Movie "Pay It Forward."  If you've never seen it - you have to see it. 

I think it should be required viewing for High-School Students.  The Philosophy espoused in the Movie is very much in need these days as we walk into the New Year of 2012. 

If you want to start to see good things happen in your life.....start to help others achieve good things in their lives.

We cannot be truly successful until we realize it is not just about us and our accumulation of personal success and material possessions. 

We have to, we should, we must, the world will be a much better place to live in if we all, take it upon ourselves to help other people.  Help other people in need.  Help other people who are sick.  Help other people who, as we are, are trying to achieve success and improve their lives in the face of great challenge and difficulty.

We cannot succeed alone.  They cannot succeed alone.

Generously Help Others......and Success Will Follow!

Let Passion Prevail

Great Passion is what we need.  Getting Mad Without Showing It.  Keep a Smile On Your Face while a fire burns within you that drives you forward and propels you closer to, and then unites you with, your Goals.